I have been told that Edward Abbey's Desert Solitaire is one of those books you can open to any page and there is profound, great writing.

I flipped to pg. 110 of my copy and the first thing i read was, "While the actual working cowboy disappears, along with the genuine nonworking Indian, the make-believe cowboys flourish and multiply like flies on a pecan pie."

Maybe not overly profound, but probably mostly true, and well-phrased. I am excited to read this book.

I've been reading rather voraciously lately, but have fallen behind in reviewing some of the best reads.

The Handmaid's Tale

In reverse chronological order, i should start with The Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood, although I won't say much about this. I thoroughly enjoyed the novel-- it was interesting and held my attention, though it was graphic at times. As one of the most often banned books in schools and libraries, one can certainly see why upon reading it.

Travels with Charley in Search of America

This is perhaps one of my new favorite Steinbeck works, and another notch on my tally to read all of his pieces. It is an interesting book-- it lies somewhere between memoir and fiction, and in a lot of ways is commentary on writing. It is also, as you might expect, a perfect book to read in the summer or to tote along on a road trip. It's one of those books you feel you might be able to open up to any page at random and read for a little while and find poignancy wherever you've landed. There were a lot of aspects to this book i related to, but what I enjoyed most about this, as I so often find with Steinbeck, was his ability to understand and write about average people in a way that makes them seem grander than they might actually be. He certainly makes a hero out of the average person, and i think that is one of the reasons Steinbeck is so beloved.

This book was also prescient of future ailments of our species. I'm not the first to remark that it feels like an early environmentalist work at times. It's interesting how the book can retain a hopeful and optimistic feel, while still making periodic statements like the following:

"We have in the past been forced into reluctant change by weather, calamity, and plague. Now the pressure comes from our biologic success as a species. We have overcome all enemies but ourselves."

also, "Along what had been country lanes rich with berries, high wire fences and mile-long factories stretched, and the yellow smoke of progress hung over all, fighting the sea winds' efforts to drive them off. ... I wonder why progress looks so much like destruction."

Nevertheless, through Steinbeck and Charley's eyes and thoughts, we see often what is an idealized view of our country. Mostly, I felt pride and excitement for living in such a varied land.

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

This coming-of-age novel by Betty Smith is considered a classic by many. It is long, but a quick, easy read. It is filled with lovely vignettes of the life of Francie Nolan growing up in Williamsburg (Brooklyn) slums. I wish I had read this while I was living in New York and visiting Brooklyn, and Williamsburg specifically.

I didn't underline any passages in this book, though I certainly could have. Smith's plain, easy style is congruent with the characters about which she writes. At times it reads like a play (Smith was also a playwright). It was a highly satisfying book. I identified with Francie throughout the novel: she is independent, yet strong-willed, with great appreciation for sense of place and home, and family.

Additionally, this book reminded me quite a bit of House on Mango Street, by Sandra Cisneros. If i become an English teacher one day, I could suggest it as a project to compare the two.

Long-Weekend trip to Iowa was pretty good. I saw a lot of people, though not quite everyone I wanted to see. Iowa was really pretty and green, which was cool, but I definitely miss my mountains. This is a good thing because Montana will probably be Home for a long, long time. But we had a really good time at Nicole's Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party extravaganza. It was good to hang out with the other bridesmaids, most of whom are my old friends from college, and of course with Nicole. It is a little sad for me sometimes living so far away from these girls, but I guess that's the choice I made. Sometimes I think I can include myself in that demographic of people who live in the west because they seek solitude. Maybe that wasn't part of the initial reasons for moving out here, but it may be part of the reasons to stay.

Back in Montana I didn't miss much. It snowed over the weekend apparently. Yesterday I didn't do much with myself. Just worked out, walked around Main Street exploring the shops, and then in the evening I went to the Farmer's Market. The Farmer's Market here is pretty cool. There's not a ton of produce yet, but it's also kind of a craft fair, too, plus plenty of delicious food vendors. I'm excited to go again as often as i can.

This weekend Jeff is coming into town, so definitely looking forward to that as well! :) Not really sure what we'll do all day, but it is, of course, always good to see my honey!

I went to Jackson yesterday for a knee check-up and it went well. Now I can hike downhill! haha I will have one last visit with Dr. Dave in a few months and then I guess I'll probably be done with that. Town was starting to get busy with tourists again-- definitely don't miss that. I don't miss much about living in Jackson at all, really. The scenery was nice and close proximity to doing things outside, but really, i can have that here in Bozeman, too.

Dr. Dave also looked at my blood test results for me. Basically, I DO have a genetic mutation on my DNA that makes me susceptible to blood clots. I have another meeting with a hematologist on Tuesday morning, but from what I have gleaned so far, this basically means that I probably will have little-to-no day-to-day worries with this, but should i choose to become pregnant It could be problematic. Susceptibility to clotting can cause miscarriages and other difficulties during pregnancy, so it's good to know about it so preventative measures can be taken. Anyway, I'll find out more on Tuesday.

While in town, I also updated my car insurance policy to be based in the state of Montana. Living in Montana combined with me turning 25 is giving me quite a large discount on my premium over what I had paid being 24 in Wyoming, so that's good. Also closed my former bank account.

I stopped in at the store in Jackson as well. It looks really great-- the First Ascent line and remodeling looks really, really good. Check out the new stuff: http://www.eddiebauer.com/home.jsp?siteId=2
I tried some of it on and the fit is perfect. I'm really excited for my store to start carrying this beginning in the fall. It was nice to visit with a few old faces too.

That afternoon i went for a hike and saw:
TWO woodpeckers
TWO yellow-bellied marmots,
and
THREE..... MOOSE! wow! three whole moose on one short hike! :) That was pretty cool. too bad I had not taken my camera with me on my trip to jackson so I could photo-document these sightings and you all would actually believe me!

Tonight, out for margaritas with ladies from work! Should be fun. Just have to finish up a few more things for Nicole's bridal shower/bachelorette party gifts before heading to Iowa on Thursday.

Author's Forward:

Well I thought it would be about time for a general State of the Me post, since i've moved semi recently and new store and all that, roomates, health, etc. this could get lengthy.

Chapter 1: Work

Work is going great. Just a transfer to a new store, which is nice because i didn't really have to learn anything new. I have absolutely nothing negative to say about this store. My management team is spectacular, and the staff is outstanding too. It is a million times less stressful than my previous situation. I'm starting to make friends with people at work too, which is so refreshing. And I've already had more weekend days off than i had the entire time i was in Jackson, put together. It's nice that the new boss values work-life balance. I realize that at times this was difficult at my previous store, but I also truly think that manager took work a little more seriously than necessary. Anyway, work is great. I actually enjoy going to work again, and it's not stressful in any way. I'm very happy with work.

Chapter 2: Health

Physical Therapy is going really well. This past week i got to start jogging a bit, which to me is a breakthrough. I also get to start backing down to going only once a week, which will be nice for the insurance company i guess :). I'm doing all my exercises on my own at least 4 times a week, which certainly takes diligence but it's going well. Also, tonight is the last night I have to take a coumadin pill (blood thinner that treats the blood clot i had post-knee surgery) It will be nice to be done with that. I am still supposed to take a baby aspirin daily for a while at least. Tomorrow I have a follow-up with the doctor who is treating this so I'll have more details. I can get a test done to see if i am more prone to blood clots somehow, which I will surely do here sometime this summer. All in all though, my progress is tremendous and encouraging. As the weather is warming up I am able to do more and more outdoors, which is nice.

Chapter 3: Roommates/Home

I am living with my boyfriend's sister, Katie, her fiance, Josh, and my boyfriends best friend, Jeremy/Myers/Doo. We all get along really well. I had met them all many times before moving here permanently as I had come up to visit Jeff (before he moved up to the farm!). So again, it was a smooth transition moving in here and it's all going well. Katie actually asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding next summer-- which I am honored and excited to be a part of!

Chapter 4: Books, Music, Movies

I just finished reading Cold Mountain a little while ago and never wrote about it, so that may be forthcoming. I also am nearly finished with Travels with Charley, by Steinbeck, except i left it on the farm the last time i was up there, so once i get that back and finish it, I'll write about it. It's very good and interesting though. Currently I am reading The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. It is also very interesting and enjoyable. It is one of the most frequently banned books in America, and I can certainly see why. You can all expect a post on that when I am finished.

As far as new music I have discovered lately, I am truly enjoying The Avett Brothers' Emotionalism album-- kind of a bluegrassy/folk but with rock elements and great lyrics and harmonies. highly enjoyable. Also, Hello Starling by Josh Ritter. The album gets it's title from the song Snow is Gone, which has really been resonating with me lately as it attempts to be spring here in Montana. Lastly, I am currently in love with Neko Case's solo music (she also works with the New Pornographers). The new album Middle Cyclone is gorgeous-- total ear candy. Her voice is amazing. It sounds like she might get influence from Buffy St Marie and other female folk/rock musicians. The lyrics are totally original and her voice is sort of this low acid sweet that's really phenomenal and works so well with what she's singing about. I am smitten.

I haven't really seen much for new movies lately. The roommates had The Bone Collector thru Netflix, which was entertaining but certainly not a cinematic masterpiece. Angelina Jolie is quite pretty, as much as hate to admit. Otherwise, i have been slowly trying to expand my movie collection to the viewing eyes of the roommates.

Afterward:

Well, that's a pretty big summation. Carol, Jeff and Katie's mom, is coming this weekend, which will be memorable, I'm sure. :)

My company is launching a new brand/high end line called First Ascent. Right now all the gear is being tested on a climb of Mount Everest. The guides and developers of the line are some pretty big names: Peter Whittaker, Ed Viesturs, Dave Hahn, Seth Waterfall, Melissa Arnot, etc. There's also a young woman named Erica Dohring on the trip who, if she completes the summit, will be the youngest American woman to summit. And they're all wearing Bauer gear. Pretty damn cool.

Lately, I've been completely sucked into the blog they are keeping. The videos and photos are amazing. Plus, for this ill-experienced midwestern gal, just reading and learning about what it is like to attempt this feat, even in the early stages as they are, is fascinating. In a recent post, Dave Hahn had written the following line:

"The main wisdom I try to impart at this stage of a long climb is simply an awareness that our performance on any given day is an integral part of our overall performance."

I've been inspired by that lately and I hope I can transfuse that feeling into whatever I do.

Check out the blog: http://blog.firstascent.com/

This makes me proud of my home state! yeah Iowa!

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/04/us/04iowa.html?hp

About damn time.

i called Teton Orthopaedics today on account of my knee not feeling right and the strange popping sensation that happened yesterday. Miraculously, my doctor happened to be the doctor who was on call. He thought it was best to see my leg, so I met him at Teton Ortho for a check-up. I felt a little clandestine about it, since they're not open on Saturdays and we were the only people there (sounds like a set up to a bad adult film... "the Doctor will see you now..." cue bad music...etc.), but i guess it wasn't a big deal.

Anyway, he checked out my knee and all the ligaments, tendons, etc. felt great. So, my worst fear -- that i had somehow re-torn my ACL-- was allayed. He says it was probably just some scar tissue that had broken off and possibly started bleeding internally, which would have caused swelling. Additionally, since I'm on blood thinners, even just a small amount of bleeding or swelling is amplified quite a bit. And when your leg swells, your quads don't react the way they normally should, which would have contributed to why i was feeling slightly wobbly. All the same, this is good news and i'm certainly relieved.

It's always odd to see someone slightly out of the normal context. Today being somewhat of a day off for Dr. Dave, he came in in jeans and a north face shirt (and a belt with a Cowboy belt buckle on it, which i didn't really expect). It reminded me of seeing a teacher while shopping at the mall. Kind of strange, but cool and interesting to see a different side of someone.

today at work i was just walking around and i felt something in my knee pop, and it hurt. it still hurts, actually. i'm really, really nervous that i somehow re-injured my knee. They say it's most prone to re-injury between weeks 6 and 10, and i'm right at 6.5 weeks. How i can re-injure it by simply walking normally is completely beyond me, but it doesn't feel right. I would be completely, completely devastated if it's re-injured. i honestly don't know if i could handle it.

I went to Rachel Getting Married last night. It was a satisfying movie and good primarily due to Anne Hathaway. This was an atypical role for her, and she did a really fantastic job. She was very compelling as an ex addict. I was captivated by her facial expressions throughout the film-- though her character was fairly verbose, her performance was even more powerful when she wasn't speaking. The range of emotions and ups-and-downs she effectively portrayed was fantastic. This was a side of Ms. Hathaway I had not seen before and hope to see more of in the future. Little girls can't be princesses forever.

The annoying part of my movie-going experience last night was the three middle-aged women sitting behind me who WOULD NOT SHUT UP! seriously, people?! And just missing parts of the plot that i didn't feel were all that subtle or easy to miss... i just wanted to turn around and shake them and say, " WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHO'S ETHAN?! ETHAN IS THE DEAD BROTHER SHE KILLED IN A CAR WRECK WHILE SHE WAS ON DRUGS!!! COME ON!" but i held it in. I should have just whacked them with my crutches.

It's harder than it looks! Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag 10 people (or just to the person who sent it to you). Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real . . . nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

this is going to be EXTRA hard with a K. Anyone have any suggestions for some of the ones I couldn't get?

1. What is your name: Katie

2. A four Letter Word: Kelp

3. A boy's Name: Kyle

4. A girl's Name: Kelsey

5. An occupation: Kinesthesiologist

6. A color: ?

7. Something you wear: Kilt

9. A food: Kebab

10. Something found in the bathroom: Kerastase

11. A place: Katmandu

12. A reason for being late: Kids crossing the street

13. Something you shout: Kumbaya! (???)

14. A movie title: Karate Kid (do i get points for using 2 words that start with K? like you do in Scattergories?)

15. Something you drink? Ketel One

16. A musician: Kid Rock

17. An animal: ?

18. A street name: Kennedy

19. A type of car: ?

20. A song title: (the) Kids Don't Stand a Chance

Huge explosion today in Bozeman-- here's a link to an article:

http://www.montanasnewsstation.com/Global/story.asp?S=9952373

Luckily it seems so far no one was hurt, which is actually pretty incredible, given the scope of the explosion.

I went to The Wrestler last night. Several people in the audience did not like it at all, a few even got up and left. I can see why it wouldn't be for everyone, but i didn't think it was that bad? I really liked it, actually. I thought it was an excellent film. Just as everyone says, Mickey Rourke was spectacular and captivating. Marisa Tomei was also sparkly, in performance and countenance. The two actors could not have been better cast in these roles that closely follow their own boom and bust careers.

I think this movie was about fake vs. reality and what people will want to believe. Wrestlers who play mortal enemies in the ring can be great friends off the mat, and strippers don't really love you and want to get with you. And movies aren't real life either. The actors in this movie are "expert at faking something the customers desperately want to believe is real," and so are the characters they play.

I think there was also emphasis on the Jesus story in this movie. Marisa Tomei's character kind of set it up by quoting The Passion of the Christ. Randy has JOB tattooed to his body. Later you see him standing in front of a large store that says something like Jesus Saves or whatever. Not to mention self-sacrifice for the masses, people who doubt him (daughter), and a stripper who is in love with him (Mary Magdalene-esque?) You'll have to watch the movie and see if you agree with me. So far, I haven't found any reviews that mention it, but I'm pretty sure it's intentional.

All in all, a good movie. if you're squirmish about blood and violence, beware, but movie made me think and definitely worth it for some outstanding performances.

i just finished reading a book called Pale Morning Done, by Jeff Hull. It was a satisfying read. I connected with the following passage:

" Molly rose and walked to the window where she crossed her arms and stared out at the lawn, barely visible in the gathering dar. 'The river,' Molly said, 'I did that. What was good and fun about it isn't fun anymore. isn't even there anymore. I want to move on to something... that lasts longer.'

Marshall wanted to say, the river lasts forever,' and argue about notions of endurance. But he knew she wasn't talking about the river, but rather their time on it, the run of seasons when, to them, each river was only the river. So instead, he said what had first come to his mind: ' I'm glad,' "

i recently had a deep conversation with a very close friend of mine about rivers. how their permanence is often overshadowed by the cycle of humanity and constant change. this passage is dedicated to chris, even though he'll never find out.

Today i sent the following email in honor of mardi gras:

subj: boobies!

email body: do i get my beads now?

attached photo:


only problem was, instead of sending the email to my friend John, i sent it to my DAD who's name is also JOHN! doh!

in other news, today i made roughly $200 selling two items on ebay! wahoo!

so, my lower calf had been hurting quite a bit and i wasn't sure if that was normal after surgery so i called the doctor and he had me come in on suspicion that it was a blood clot. i had an ultrasound which confirmed that it was actually a blood clot that was pretty much the length of my calf in my left leg, where i had surgery. so now i have treatment for that too. idk how many of you have ever had a blood clot, but it's actually really painful. i'm happy to be on treatment for it to make it go away.

for treatment i get to give myself injections in the belly of blood thinner, and also take a blood thinning pill. i'll have to go in and get my blood tested periodically as well to make sure everything is going ok. I guess since my blood clot is isolated to my calf, it's less dangerous, but there was a chance that part of it could break off and go to my lung, which would be a little more dangerous, obviously. however, since it's under control now and being treated there is no reason to worry.

otherwise, more PT tomorrow, oh and got some of my stitches taken out yesterday too, which was good. still using the crutches to get around though. hopefully will be done with those soon. they are annoying.

I had my surgery almost a week ago. The first few days afterwards were mostly spent sleeping. this past weekend has been more of a struggle, however, because i feel like i can't do anything. recovery is not too much fun. i feel like it's going slowly, but i keep comparing myself to how i was when i was healthy and at 100%, rather than measuring progress as it comes. all the same, it's boring and frustrating. i feel like i am constantly in a bad mood. i'm not mad at anyone it's just a general state of angst and frustration and boredom, all combined.

realistically, i'm sure my recovery is coming along as it should be. i'm gaining a little more range of motion, tolerable weight-bearing, and strength each day. like i said, it's just hard not to compare to before i had surgery.

jeff has been exceedingly helpful while he has been here to help. if nothing else, he gives me someone to talk to and be silly with. but he has been extraordinary in helping me get around and getting me food and many other things.

i guess that's about it for now.

ugh. i'm already bored, and i haven't even had surgery yet.

in preparation, today I cleaned the apartment, including my room. I also am in the process of preparing some food that can be simply reheated, so i can minimize cooking and time on my feet afterwards. i'm making meat balls that can be frozen and then reheated for spaghetti or meat ball subs, i'm making a lasagne to freeze, and i made lemon bread and tuna noodle casserole today too. I'm trying to make everything as easy as possible for myself, and for my boyfriend and roommate, who will undoubtedly be helping me out immensely.

yesterday i went to the library to find some books to read. I'm currently reading the Twilight books, i'm almost ashamed to admit. i'm on the last one and i'm really kind of struggling to read it and finish it. it's becoming a chore. i need something else. anyway, i went to the library with a list of about 12 books and they only had 2. so, i guess i'll read The Poisonwood Bible, and Franny and Zooey and be happy about it.

Now i just need to go to the grocery store and find a few more things to be all ready to go. i'm bored out of my mind though. already. grr.

I went skiing yesterday and had a great time for about the first two hours before I fell and twisted my knee again. Unlike last year, however, I decided to go to the doctor and get it checked out. I just got back from the doctor-- he thinks i tore my ACL. I'm a little upset about it right now. When i went into the clinic i really did not expect that to be the result because it didn't really hurt that bad, it's just puffy and feels a little tender, and i still have excellent range of motion. Anyway, the doctor, Dr. Khoury, was very nice and professional and basically laid out my options as being (no surprises here) : Physical Therapy, or Surgery. It sounds like surgery is the way to go because within 6 months I will likely be able to enjoy all activities i am enjoying now. If I go with surgery, Dr. Khoury would be the one to do it. In case you want to look at his credentials or anything, here is his profile on the Teton Orthopedics website: http://www.tetonortho.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=physicians&detail=khoury

The crappy thing right now is that my boss is out for 2 weeks, so there's no chance of me having any time off until she gets back, even to just let my knee rest or prevent it from hurting worse. They gave me a knee brace and some crutches to use until I can have the operation (and probably after), to keep my leg stable.

So yeah, not too happy right now.

I saw Slumdog Millionaire last night and I really liked it! it was really well made. for those of you who have seen City of God or The Constant Gardener, it reminded me a lot of those films in several ways: visual style was very similar and of course frank depiction of the often horrific absurdity of large city slums. Other interesting themes were the roles of fate/destiny/chance/luck in the lives of the characters, a comparison to The Three Muskateers, and the struggle to overcome adversity, among other things. The film was really well done and I recommend it to anyone. :)

Yesterday I also got in some pretty good runs on Snow King, believe it or not. I wish it wasn't so damn expensive to ski at the village because i can't afford it out there. Probably Targhee on Wednesday tho, which is exciting.

I've been listening to the Vampire Weekend album a lot lately and it's quite good. Also, Bon Iver (French for "Good Winter,") is exactly what you might expect-- great contemplative winter music. And of course, Fleet Foxes are among my new faves.